Sometimes you fail to hold back yourself knowingly
that you have to be calm and collected. You
try hard to summon yourself and start telling to yourself, “Buddy you got to be
positive-don’t ever think of it-they are just kids-they will grow man. Patience-keep
faith and keep working. Remember you are teacher-a very good teacher!”
It is my sixth year in teaching and I have always
talked to myself positively when I have one of those off days in my English
classes. Moreover, I also pump up myself
by listening and watching to motivational videos and speeches which can be
instantly downloaded from the YouTube. Talking good to yourself helps immensely
and so does with motivational videos and speeches.
Despite the fact that I have such reinforcements, Sometimes
you lose it all-can’t seem to hold back- Instantly you burst out at them, “What
is happening with you guys huh? Are you
all planning to tag me as an under performing teacher this year? Is this what you
want me to be at the end? Is this how you are going to pay back to me for teaching
all the good things in life?” Emotional blackmailing takes the center stage.
“No Sir…” The response would be very feeble which
would further emphasize my irritation.
Madness would run all over me and my voice would thunder, “Say
something! Am I talking to the walls here huh? Am I?”
“No Sir!” This time the respondents would be loud
and clear-all in one unison.
Twitching my face to reveal sheer disgust I would wildly
look around and keep throwing all pots and pans, “Look at your English-my
goodness! Subject Verb agreement has received no respect from you all and now
it seems you have let it go down the toilet-look at your handwriting-your
spellings-you don’t want to be educated-you want to be like Wild animals. You all
will fail at the end and I will laugh at your failure!”
“No Sir!” A
girl would get up, “You can pin point to those- I don’t accept what you are saying
and I am not going to fail! I am going to make you cry by passing.” there would be
flare-confidence and sweet innocence which instantaneously melted away all my
grievances.
“Obviously I wasn’t referring to you.” I would be
stunned and think why is she so serious when I am not even talking about her.
“But Sir you said-you all” she would smile, look bit
anxious and still unconvinced-still apprehensive.
Unable to make up myself, I would scramble for
words, “I meant it for few of our friends here-you are a fine student-"
“What about me Sir-am I not a good student?” one more
kid will get up and then another-then another…
“What about me Sir? What about me Sir?...” the uproar would ring inside out to add on to
my helplessness…
“If you were not referring to all then Sir you have
to reveal the names of those with whom you are not happy.”
Some kids would lower their heads and blush-feeling
extremely uneasy. I know I have to
decide here but Before I could decide
upon my response-
“Please Sir-name it-please!” pleading would be so intense.
Their heighten curiosity to know who are in my hit list would be explicitly
exhibited in their whines and groans.
Then realizing I have fifteen minutes left for my
lesson-I would play “You fool! What were you all thinking huh? How can I name the
students –it is impossible!”
They would look at each other in sheer confusion.
Then wearing wide smile all over my face,
confidently I would continue, “Yes! It-is-impossible-for-me-to reveal-the-names
because this-I said it to some of your friends here in class ten early this
morning. So there is nothing wrong with
class six here”
“Sir has made it up! No Sir!” There would be kind of
harmless jeering for brief seconds.
"You Have to tell!"
"Too much of negativity Sonam-Not good-not good!" I would tell to myself and shake it off.
"You Have to tell!"
"Too much of negativity Sonam-Not good-not good!" I would tell to myself and shake it off.
“Shall we start our lesson then?” turning towards
the green board I would signal my gateway.
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